Marshall Before Cancer Surgery.
far as she knows, just like anyone else diagnosed, she could lose her
life, … compared to Robin Williams who chose to take his!
about as angry as I’m going to get.
I was diagnosed last week after several doctor’s appointments spanning from
months ago when all was perfectly normal even though I felt something was wrong,
and continued to persist through a battery of tests this last week ending in
D-Day on Friday when the bomb was dropped in my lap.
have stage 3 ovarian cancer and need a hysterectomy. In my brain I’m thinking,
"Those are all my good parts! How could they turn on me NOW?” It’s like I want
to have a good "talkin’ to,” with myself!
this news, I shook, as people do when they’re in shock, I asked the doctor, who
BTW is a fast talking NY’er from Sloan Kettering, to explain it to me, which she
did… and after finishing her spiel consisting of medical lingo, tumors, numbers
and parts I didn’t even know I had… she asked if I understood. I said, "F*** No!
I need to call my girlfriend who’s currently a chief radiologist at Sloan
Kettering in NY and let you tell her so she can tell me!” She continued by
drawing me pictures of my insides, where I calmly began pushing numbers on my
cell phone until Arlene answered. I interrupted the fast-talking doc and said,
"Here, tell her everything.” She did!
decided that I’ve always been forthcoming here on Facebook and Twitter and it is
ridiculous for me to continue to hide what I’m facing, while at the same time
I’m the LAST ONE to look for sympathy! Holy Cow! I just released this book: "The
Diary of a Sugar Mom!”
already thinking, …”Hmmm… if I Die… I might sell more books and my Kids will be
better off!” It’s the entrepreneur in me, I just can’t help
wrote the book for TWO reasons:
TRUTH. We all need to take a good look in the mirror every lunar eclipse and
admit to where we’ve been and where we want to go.
goal was to show women that at the age of 45 and up when your kids are leaving
and your husband is lackadaisical, your life has just Begun! Call it "me time!”
Your kids, husband, parents, friends, and lovers will all survive while you take
care of you for a while. I’m trying, via this book to offer you the
permission you’ve needed. If you want gym time, and your kids need carpooling, tell
someone else to do it and stick to your plan.You’ve given them everything
you’ve got like the sap inside the tree until the bark isn’t barking any more.
Run Forest, Run!
come on, you all know I suck at math… I know I said Two, but my hands have
trouble keeping up with my mind, so indulge me again. Men! If you’d open your
mouths and tell your wives exactly what you want sexually and spiritually, you’d
be surprised at just how fast you may turn her around. Silence gets you nowhere
my message to you all: I have traveled great distances, spiritually as well as
in mileage to protect my family, just like you. Ok, maybe to bit more of an
extreme, leaving them behind with their dad because we really needed the money,
while I broke out into corporate and writing books in a totally different state
and city, but they’re safe and I’m happy they’re safe! I go home every two
weeks. That’s the part that’s hurting me most. I’ll have to put seeing them on
the back burner while I heal, if it’s in the cards.
"coming out,” with this news because it’s just me being
may have a few questions. Here are a few examples.
"Is there anything I can do?” Answer: "YES, would you mind having this operation
for me, so I can continue with my weekend Book Tour? :-)”
"Is it gonna’ hurt?” Answer: "I dunno? I’ve never had my insides taken out
before, these parts used to make babies and now they’re just making trouble, but
if I had to guess, it’s gonna’ hurt like Hell!”
"Are you gonna be OK?” Answer: "How the hell do I know! Ask me in a week,
hopefully I’ll be here to answer!”
ask a question that you’re not prepared to hear the answer to, especially if
it’s to me! Just laugh, thank God quietly (when I’m not looking) that it wasn’t you, and deal with me! If I need something? Do I seem the type that’d be afraid
to ask? You should pray that you stay out of my path right now because I
just might ask of you, … to piss you off or merely to see how you
I’m gonna’ get serious for a minute: I’ve been Very proactive medically over the
last few months. Girlfriends, when you become symptomatic, it’s not you being
"hormonal,” as your spouse might insist. Trust that you know your own body and
follow through. Don’t listen to anyone other than YOU.
in the Dr’s office, and having just passed my doctor over to my girlfriend on
the phone, whom I’m calling "Dr. Arlene,” they may as well have been speaking in
a foreign language as I listened while shaking, …wondering where I’d parked my
car. Why should THAT change? I always feel blessed when I find my car. It’s the
hung up as I mentally challenged myself, picturing walking in from outside and
remembering landmarks, because one thing I knew was I needed my car to get the
hell away from this immediate situation so I could breathe on my own. I didn’t want her looking at me anymore as though I was a victim and she was trying to
make sense out of my being assaulted.
asked her, "When do you feel I should have this operation done?” She answered,
"Wed of next week. I’m booked solid on Thursday and Friday.” I thought I’d been
in shock only moments ago, but to hear your doctor utter the words, "next week,”
is mind blowing.
comes the part where you’ll recognize me again! Ready? I asked her, "if
we pushed this to the following Monday, a mere 5 days later, would it make a
difference?” She said, no, she was only trying to accommodate me because I’d
come across like I was in a hurry, and then she asked the question I was afraid
she’d ask: "WHY?” Ugh… I knew if I told her the truth she may not take me
seriously in the OR, but if I didn’t grab those few extra days I’d lose an
opportunity that really mattered to me! Call me crazy, … Once again I told the
truth: "I have an important trip scheduled that includes a high-powered seminar
and two or three interviews for my book. I’d like to get it rolling so my
publicist will have something to work with while I’m down for the
AIR. I don’t have a clue as to why I thought she’d understand, and then she
asked the REALLY GOOD question: "Ooooh! What’s the subject of your book and
what’s it called? Can I buy it anywhere?”
where I felt the injustice and humor in a single breath as I calmly explained
that it’s a book about a woman who when faced with an emergency situation
regarding the well-being of her children, learned about the Sugar Daddy world
and became a Sugar Baby in order to protect them!
asked, "Is this a novel?” I’m thinking… she’s really asking, "Is this like 50
Shades?” I said, "It’s Faction.”
FACE. When a Doctor has a blank face, you know you’re in trouble. The
conversation continued where I said, "So…I’d like to call Arlene back,…” where
she interrupted me saying,… "What’s Faction?” I swear I almost told her that she
needed to be the one laying down with her feet in the stirrups as I continued,
"it’s part fact and part fiction…so really, will the extra days make a
difference or not?”
She looked at
me. If looks could kill, I could picture her viewing my surgery as a speed bump
in her day. That’s what her face registered!
how to deal with egos as well as I do, I turned it around and said, "Doctor, the
character in the book charged more per hour than you do as a surgeon! She is a
smart woman, which is why I chose to write about her!” THAT did not go over
well. Hell, I was going for broke at that point as I continued, "and she didn’t
need a degree to keep her kids safe and sound!”
DROP Moment. Whatever?
needed the save at that moment as I asked her, "What would YOU do, if faced with
that situation of keeping your children in their home; warm, fed and clean
versus living in a shelter or worse yet, on the street? Could you have sex for
life altering moment happened within a few seconds as I saw the light in her
eyes turn on. She asked, "How do I get a copy of the book?” I told her it was
available on Amazon or my website.” She wrote down my web address. www.RobinMarshallSugarmom.com. I think that
was the biggest, "Phee-eew” moment in my life! Instead of my fearing being
butchered on the table, I felt she understood me. Yay! I
my bottom line with you all: Please: I just want life to continue as it is, let
us be the friends that we are, but just be aware that I have an agenda. My
agenda is to get well, and I know how tough surgery can be, emotionally and
physically, especially for a woman who really takes good care of herself. I walk
every night, I never eat junk and I stay in the best shape I
worry about bouncing back, the chance of chemo, losing my hair… throwing up! I
know they sound like something a spoiled brat might mention but every once in a
while I feel scared. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, that I just feel
tired when I think about what may happen to me and what I’ve worked so hard to
maintain. Spoiled? I dunno… I have girlfriends that have lived through worse;
and for God’s Sake: I just thought of another question you may have: "Is Uterine
Cancer Contagious and if so can you catch it via sex?”
"I’d have been dead YEARS ago if this were the case! Hell to the No, it’s not
motive with my book was to brag about this new word I embellished and even have
a pending Trademark with: Sugar Mom. It’s a woman who lives a life less
ordinary. A woman who deserves her own space, after raising her kids and even
her husband! LOL! It’s not necessarily sexual, but the word "Sugar” represents
all the things she’s wanted but has not had the opportunity to
here I am… a Sugar Mom who just got bitch-slapped in the face by a huge hand of
reality. I’m assuming I overstepped, (what else is new?) and this is just God’s
way of putting me back in my place or just slowing my ass down a bit until she
can catch up. I get it. I’ll be good.
no fake comments. I shared with you because I want you to go to the doctor if
you feel something’s wrong or out of whack. I want you to look at your
significant other and tell them you love them. If I can help change One Person
it’s worth it. It’s always been my formula with everything I tackle: one person
at a time. It’s medicinal for me! It helps me to thrive, and guess what? I’ve
raised 5 kids to be just like me! That brings me peace, because there’s no
shutting them up, if I should disappear.
ultimate plan is to blog via my site daily while I recuperate. www.RobinMarshallSugarMom.com, and if you’d
like to reach me personally about this subject just email me. Any conversations
we have via email are private. Period.
love to every one of you. Make a difference today while you
just roll with it, ok?